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Army Spy

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Last night, I was texting with Bumble Virgin and he revealed to me that he was in THE NAVY FOR 6 YEARS. And the “longterm relationship” he was referring…
Saturday, June 3, 11:51pm, Army Spy texted: “Hey there. Remember me? I’m the asshole that ghosted you. Would love to try to make up for it. Going to…
ARMY SPY JUST TEXTED ME. I REPEAT, ARMY SPY JUST TEXTED ME. WHATTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKK I suspected my newly broken toe would garner me some sympathy from the…
Bathtub Lawyer tried to ghost me and I called him out on it, which led to a pretty good conversation about us both being on the same page about how this…
While I’ll never know if he was being honest or not, I think I’m starting to feel what Army Spy said about needing time alone to figure shit out. I went…
Army Spy has been deleted for good. Besides, he’s an Aries, so it never could have worked. Thursday night: I went on a zero expectation Bumble date—as…
Last week’s date with Girls Writer was fine, but there won’t be a second. Fun fact: I accidentally ordered an 11% beer as my first beverage and was very…
I've decided that I'm probably going to reach out to Army Spy on February 16th, which is when Mercury is back to its former grade and glory and exactly…
After talking a decent enough amount while I was away, I just had a, for lack of a better term, sad text convo with Army Spy. I was sick of his…
Army Spy and I have been on two more dates (shuffleboard and a Nets game), for a total of 6. It’s been a month so far, and everything seems pretty…
Of course Army Spy texted me right after I sent the last email. Since then, we’ve talked a fair amount and have been out three more times. We got drinks…
Last night I went on a late, somewhat brief, but really good Bumble date (11:40pm -1:40am). We first started talking last week and I had been annoyed…
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