20#16

After talking a decent enough amount while I was away, I just had a, for lack of a better term, sad text convo with Army Spy. I was sick of his dillydallying on when we’d hang out this week so I very directly asked. He responded saying that he’s in a weird place and needs some time to figure himself out, on his own. I asked if I should wait to hear from him or if he plans on ghosting me, and he said that he doesn’t plan to ghost but he doesn’t know where he’ll be. I said that’s all I ask and that I really do like him and hope to hear from him. He said he likes me too, and that he even initially typed out “Friday” in response to my original question, but that he just doesn’t think it’s a good idea right now. I told him I’d give him space, and that I’m putting it on him to reach out when he’s ready. He was really considerate and upfront about everything, which just makes this harder. I’m really sad. And of course, I hate not having any control over what happens, or even knowing whether or not I’ll ever hear from him again. I would say that I don’t know what to do, but I do know, and that’s nothing. All I can say is that if it’s meant to be, he’ll reach out at some point (hopefully sooner rather than later); and if it wasn’t meant to be, then I’m glad it ended now, because even after only a few weeks of knowing him, this really hurts.