#18

Last week’s date with Girls Writer was fine, but there won’t be a second. Fun fact: I accidentally ordered an 11% beer as my first beverage and was very confused when I had double vision halfway through my second (normal percentage) beer.

I received a creatively gross message on OkCupid last week: “Hi I’m Jon, How are you? You look great with a lovely figure. 24cm” ...PRETTY sure he’s telling me he has a huge dick, and I obviously had to look up the conversion.

OH...and...I texted Army Spy this evening. 4 weeks was long enough. My message was very honest, nice, and not aggressive at all—I swear. (Ask, and I’ll show you.) Basically, I laid my cards and feelings on the table, and simply asked if he had any desire to see me again. (He’s been looking at my Snapchat stories, but I also know he’s been updating his Bumble profile, so… mixed messages.) That was almost three hours ago, and he hasn’t responded. I’m trying to remain optimistic (I’ve given up pessimism for Lent, btw), but I am afraid he’ll disappoint me and do exactly what he told me he wouldn’t. I’m giving him until bedtime tomorrow before I completely erase him from my phone and social media.

Regardless of if and how he responds, I’m glad I did this. I feel that too often we women are made to think that we’re not allowed to reach out first, not allowed to be honest about our feelings, and not allowed to call guys out on treating us like a disposable piece of trash. I can only hope that by treating them like humans, and acting like one too, it can do at least something to stop us all from turning into a generation of fearful, unfeeling ghosts.

As hard as it is to believe sometimes, I know I’m too great to end up alone. And that goes for all of you, too.