#57 Sigh.

I decided to be upfront and preempt a third date request (and therefore my rejection of it) from Beer&Cheese Guy by going out of my way to tell him I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want him to go through the trouble of asking me out again just to have me say no, so I’m hoping my out-of-the-blue ending was the more humane route. He said he was lost for words but that it was great meeting me as well. That nearly made me cry. But I had to set him free.

Why is it that the “spark” only occurs with the bad-for-me ones? Obviously it’s not enough for a guy to be just nice, but I think I need to start prioritizing niceness and positivity a bit more than I have been. I also think I need to start paying more attention to red flags, and stop sweeping them under the rug (like how Navy Guy would casually throw around words like “re-re,” “tranny,” and “cunt” without a second thought). Shame on me.

I feel mildly tarnished from the textual abuse that Navy Guy spewed at me, and I clearly need to get my values straightened out, so I think I need a break from it all. Too bad I already agreed to a first date on Sunday!