Barely an update—like old times!
Hello darlings and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you’re reading this while hiding from your family in the bathroom with a glass of wine.
Instead of waiting who-knows-how-long to write about something exciting, I figured I’d bridge the gap and share the few tame Interactions With Men I’ve had in the past 6 months:
In August, a new man friend cooked me dinner and then practically demanded to rub my feet. That’s literally it! Good deal, right?
While visiting Brooklyn in September, I had a spontaneous lunch with Goodtime Guy. We hadn’t talked since our April breakup and had only mildly interacted on Instagram (the occasional story like here and there). I had been thinking about asking him to meet up while I was in town, but found out from our friend that he was gone for most of the week, so I didn’t bother. However, on my last day, I posted an IG story that made it clear I was in town and he responded almost immediately. I asked if he had time to catch up in the 5 hours before I had to go to the airport, and we quickly coordinated lunch plans.
I’m happy to say that it was really nice to see him! Not weird at all, and I left feeling extremely heart-warmed. We caught up on our summers/lives, hung out with his bird for a bit (not a euphemism), and then I left to finish packing for Portugal (which is where I’m currently located until mid-December). I’m really glad that we “cleared the air” and can now be friends (read: sporadically text/DM without feeling weird about it).
Knowing I’d be truly single in Europe this time around, I downloaded Hinge to help me meet people. So far, I’ve met up with one guy who lives here and is very nice, but I’m feeling more of a friendship vibe. Then, I matched with a vacationing American the night before he flew home and, despite the fact that he lives in Indiana and I’m trying to relocate to Portugal, we’ve been talking almost every day for the last three weeks…
Whyyyy am I bothering with such an unavailable person? Probably because I’m subconsciously unavailable due to reasons I haven’t yet determined but am desperately trying to unearth!!!! But also, he has a farm and builds tables for a living—which, to me, is very hot. (It’s giving Aidan from SATC.) I even tried to scare him away by sharing this Archive of Embarrassment early on but it didn’t work! (In fact, he called it a GREEN flag.) We’re both interested in partnership and permaculture, but I’m still trying to determine the rest of our compatibility; for example, he definitely wants kids and I’m a big maybe on babies. In addition to texting, we’ve had a few video calls, and we miiiiight meet up in December while he visits family in SoCal.
So yes, there are some eerie parallels to the Rotary Boo fever dream (e.g., he’s reading this, has bought The Artist’s Way per my recommendation, and lives fucking far away) and even to Goodtime Guy (e.g., he doesn’t feel super fulfilled by his job and says he’d be open to living elsewhere—though I won’t hold my breath). I’m aware that this situation does nothing to help me with my Portuguese visa goals and might be a huge waste of time, but for now, it’s fun to have a crush. But also, if he wants to drop everything and start a farm with me in Portugal, that’s fine too.
In the meantime, I still have three whole weeks to meet and fall in love with a European, so we’ll see what happens!